Used to be that when somebody died, they died. That was pretty much it. Now you see them, now you don’t. The more religiously-inclined among us liked to think that whoever it was we had lost had ‘gone to a better place’, although there was no contact information for wherever that better place may have been, so we couldn’t, you know, call to confirm arrival.
But belief is a strong thing. Much stronger than our human ability to confront the reality of death.
Maybe I’m just paying more attention to this these days because I’m ‘getting up there’ (not getting older or closer to death, mind you. Just… getting up there) but it’s hard for me not to notice the increasing number of friends and others who I thought were dying but who apparently somehow managed to avoid that fate while simultaneously slipping away from this plane of existence to exist ‘on the other side’.
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Because nobody dies anymore. That simply isn’t allowed. Part of my day job involves writing occasional proclamations for various individuals and/or their families, and it seems to be generally accepted that someone can ‘pass away’. But they never died.
If they didn’t pass away then perhaps they ‘joined the ancestors,’ which is a favorite Black folk post-mortem destination, I think because it implies somewhere there exists a place where our family members are waiting for us with open arms, smiling and laughing, anxious to welcome us ‘home’ to that ‘other side’ after a long life’s journey. We get to reunite with Mom and Dad, whom we remember and miss so much, but also meet that great-great-great ancestor who killed the overseer and then made that dramatic escape to freedom down the river. Or whatever the story may have been that was passed down to you.
We’ve been expecting you, Junior! What took you so long? Pass the yams.
Another favorite is that Individual X made his/her ‘transition’. The confusing part about this one to me is (again) trying to figure out what awaits us on the other side of that transition. I’m assuming the intended understanding is that Individual X made that transition to (hopefully, if he or she was good) Heaven where, as stated above, our jubilant ancestors will be waiting for us, gathered around the longest dinner table you’ve ever seen. Arms outstretched and all that.
Or does it mean we’re making our transition into something else? Some other form? And what form is that? What manner of creature do we become after death? Sorry. I meant after passing away.
When I make my transition, will I transition into this…? Image by Matthew Jara, courtesy of Scopio
I hate to be a stickler, but since we’re talking about where I might be headed for eternity, I would really appreciate a few more specifics. Will I be transitioning to aplace? Or will I be transitioning into something else?
Or will I simply be ‘taking my rest’?
Is this where we’re going? Image by Inzamam Talukder, Courtesy of Scopio.
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The one I have the most difficulty with is the phrase “went home”. When I read that a very sick friend “went home,” I figure it means they made a miraculous recovery in the hospital, but no — to the fundamentalist Christians I grew up with who are still in that faith, that phrase means the friend died. I get caught out reading that every time. I suppose it’s maybe short for “went home to Jesus,” but to say that somebody “went home” is quite a different idea, and I hate it that the phrase raises such hope, offers such a false relief. It’s cruel.
The one I have the most difficulty with is the phrase “went home”. When I read that a very sick friend “went home,” I figure it means they made a miraculous recovery in the hospital, but no — to the fundamentalist Christians I grew up with who are still in that faith, that phrase means the friend died. I get caught out reading that every time. I suppose it’s maybe short for “went home to Jesus,” but to say that somebody “went home” is quite a different idea, and I hate it that the phrase raises such hope, offers such a false relief. It’s cruel.